Oct 30, 2015

Too Close, Too Far

Do you ever feel sometimes that you are very different from others? Like yes, you have friends, but have any of your friends surprised you for your birthday? Or at least gave you gifts? Because believe it or not, I rarely receive gifts from family and friends during my birthday. Well, having a birthday on a holiday might be an acceptable reason but still, isn't it sad to think about not receiving anything for your birthday? I sometimes wonder if there is a certain level or depth a friendship should have in order for you to experience special treatment. I personally like to receive a greeting card with notes and messages from my friends, even from those I am not very close. I like the idea of being surprised on my birthday. I would be very happy if someone would make a video for me or would give me flowers occasionally. Something unique and out of the box for my birthday or during holidays/special events. I've been seeing some of these things happen on Facebook (yes I saw something in Facebook that provoked me to write this post). I would then wonder if there is a chance that I would experience those unique celebrations too. But given the fact that I am not really very close to anyone and that until now, nothing special has ever happened on my birthday, I doubt if any of those flattering celebrations would ever happen to me. Would you believe that even during my debut birthday party, I had to force my high school classmates to come because my birthday lies on the day before New Year's Day? I do understand the situation but it's just that I felt they were skeptical with the idea of visiting my place on my birthday. I was just glad that they came though, still, thank you. If I would try to recall my high school days, I would say I was never close to anyone and that my mind was just too focused with my studies. I do have close friends when I got in college and I am still in contact with them but we rarely see each other. I can see them having close coworker friends which I believe I have some too (hopefully!). Being in the US sometimes makes me think though if there is a gap between my coworker friends because of the lesser time I spent with them in person. I just feel that at this point of my life, there has been no one who really knows me best except my sister who is in Japan right now which is kind of sad too because she's also far away from me. Anyway, this is just one of the things that randomly crosses my mind sometimes. :)