Aug 6, 2012


"Introvert - prefers to be alone or in small groups; is quickly exhausted by parties and other large social situations."
- Time February 6, 2012 issue

The short description of the introvert above summarizes my behavior. Yes, I'm an introvert. I've known the term since college but I knew my behavior was kind of different when I attended my first day of school in kindergarten.

Back in kindergarten, our teacher instructed us to introduce ourselves in front of the class. Since I was sitting in the first row, near the door, I was the first one called. I stood up, went in front of the class, but didn't say a word. I was quiet and voiceless in front of everybody and my mom was instructing me near the door to say my name. I know how to introduce myself in front of my mom but I was scared to introduce myself in front of many unknown people. No matter how my teacher and my mom encouraged me to say my name, I never said a word. My other classmates were very enthusiastic to introduce themselves already so the teacher decided to give up on me and I returned to my seat while my other classmates confidently introduce themselves in front of everybody.

I knew I was different when I was growing up. Though I do hang out with groups but I would prefer to be alone. If there are group works or group projects, I do work with my group mates but I would rather have an individual project than doing it by group. I have the belief that I work best when I'm alone. If there are class or group activities, I would wish that it would end soon so I can go home and rest alone. I don't interact much with everybody and I'd rather have people introduce themselves to me rather than me introducing myself to them.

Even when I started working, this is still my behavior. I can go along with my work mates but I easily get tired and stressed. My patience is short and I have difficulty sharing my work load to others.

I would prefer to go shopping alone because I have the thinking that if I tagged someone along, I'll be wasting his/her time with me. I carefully choose what I want to buy which means it takes me time to buy things and my companion might me tired of waiting for me.

One time, I went to a night club party with my sister and cousins. I did dance with them in the club but I immediately got tired at around 12:00-1:00AM so I went back to our empty table, seated alone, and began sleeping. When I woke up, I think it was already 4:00AM, most of the people went home already but luckily my sister and my cousins were still there, drinking and dancing. This is just a proof of how anti-social I was. I'm not saying I'm 100% anti-social. I just quickly get exhausted with situations like these and this is because I am an introvert.

I sometimes want to have adjustments with this behavior of mine and try to be more sociable but it looks like it's going to be a very long process. I don't think being an introvert is negative though. I just want to at least let people understand the behavior I have and how I am trying to cope up with things the way they want.

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