Nov 25, 2011

When Will I Be Happy Again

Yep, I'm not happy these past few days and it started when I went back to my night shift sked. It gets sadder and sadder as the day pass. God, I know this is a big challenge for me but somehow, the situation I am right now makes me cry, thinking if I could be happy again.

I want to hang out with my close friends. I want a vacation. I want to see an SS4 concert. I want to travel outside of the country. I try to motivate myself that someday, somehow, I can have all these things I want. But when will it be? I wonder. It makes me want to cry more.

I feel like there is a huge thorn in my heart that needs to pull out. This anxiety is killing me, seriously. If the pressure is in critical state, my stomach hurts and it's very painful. Will I be even happy on Christmas? Will I even celebrate my birthday? Will I enjoy fireworks with my family on New Year's eve?

God, please, as long as everything goes well, then I'll be fine. Please continue to make a way that everything will be okay. Strengthen me and motivate me. I know I can do it as long as You are there for me.

My heart hurts right now but I'll definitely get this over with and I know for sure that someday, I'll be happy again.

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